4. private to Father Christmas

[cartergetsyou]

Dear Father Christmas,

Don't know why I'm writing to you; I didn't believe in you when I was a boy and see no reason to start now. Still, if there's any chance that anything I ask for might be delivered, get Angua a dog collar [this is heavily scratched out so as to be illegible, Carter having realised that this is a very stupid request indeed] a picture of that dwarf boyfriend of hers or something like that. Get Lua some nice perfume. French. Chanel, maybe. And I want a photo of Doreen. [This is scratched out but still quite legible and may very well be acted upon by the powers that be.] a gun. And some bennies.

Jack